Narcissistic Personality Pastor

We use the term narcissistic for persons who are so focused on themselves that they do not really ‘see’ others. They enter social situations expecting to be special and to be the center of attention. The position of preaching head pastor certainly can allow the fulfillment of these needs in a grand way.

How would you know the difference between a narcissistic self-focused preacher and one who is genuinely dedicated to being the servant of the Bride of Christ?

Servant Leadership - an Alternative to the Narcissistic Personality Pastor

Jesus said the good shepherd ‘lays down his life for the sheep.’ He cares for the sheep and is not a hireling. (John 10:15)

Jesus began the Last Supper by washing the feet of his disciples (John 13). He again called them to fulfill a servant role.

After the resurrection Jesus said to Peter (John 21): “Feed my sheep.” Even after his resurrection, Christ calls Peter to a servant role.

Chapter 3 of Demons in the Sanctuary describes the pastor of The Good Shepherd Church in terms that suggest a manipulative person, preoccupied with appearances and needing to be the center of attention.

Chapter 3 begins with Pastor Rutherford admiring himself in the mirror. “He liked what he saw.” Good one! In the Greek myth of narcissus reflection and love of one’s image, so this is a very appropriate way to portray narcissism.

In preparation for the service our pastor insists that his mikes be set louder, “heard over the choir and other instruments. I am leading after all!” This may be another of several hints that Rutherford is a self-focused pastor. “It is all about me, after all.”  (The author of the book, Demons in the Sanctuary, has revealed to me that the subject of her portrayal of Rutherford is the former Golden-Boy of the PAOC - Rev. Ralph Rutledge who she observed in his final years in the pastorate to Good Samaritan Church.)

Eldridge on a man's need for his father's affirmation

John Eldridge, of “Wild at Heart” and “The Way of the Wild at Heart,” says that the first stage in the journey toward manhood involves know that you are your father’s beloved son; that you are a beloved son.

Eldridge says that if we miss our father’s affirmation and if we are not root and grounded in the knowledge that we are our father’s son, then we will always be seeking the attention, recognition and affirmation that will tell us that we are a beloved son.

The way we manifest our need for attention is to become the center of attention. We want center stage. We demand recognition for whatever we do. It seems as if life and death hinges on us getting recognition, being affirmed and never criticized.

Big wounds in our need for our father’s affirmation can leave us looking self-centered and narcissistic like Pastor Rutherford in this chapter 3 of Demons in the Sanctuary. Pastor is stuck in a “it is all about me” emotional stage.  

 He is trying to get what father never gave. He is pulling affirmation and recognition from others in a self-focused way. We would say to him: “Get over yourself.” He has a father wound. He is stuck.

Eldridge would speculate that Rutherford is trying to get the affirmation that his father never gave. His desperate need for affirmation and recognition from others could have the force of an addiction.

Getting to know his self-focused ways we are tempted to say: “Get over yourself.” God in His compassion might see the father wound and that Rafe needs to be affirmed as a beloved son by his Heavenly Father.

Rutherford/Rutledge is Narcissistic Personality Pastor

Though clothed in all the sounds and sights of Pentecostal religion this pastor (Rutherford/Rutledge) exposes the darkness of his soul by his lack of love for others. “This man’s religion is vain,” wrote James, if he does not show concern for the needy and pity for the widow (James 1:27) and if he does not express his faith by kindness and good deeds.

Other posts in this series on Demons in the Sanctuary: 1. Masculine Tough and Feminine Soft, 2. Narcissistic Personality Pastor, 3. Nicolaitanism – triumph over the lay people, 4. Church Scandal and Financial Wrongdoing, 5. Attitude of a Good Pastor.

See also the blog on "What do we know about Ralph Rutledge?"   The wolf in Sheep Clothing,  Character Issues to Observe,  Good Boundaries make Good Ministers, Thesis, Method, Observations and Conclusions about Ralph Rutledge, Ralph Rutledge Defrocked