Thursday, August 12, 2010

"I can ask anything" faith

A discouraged woman writes that God has not answered her prayers and she is very discouraged and has lost her faith.  She has "I can ask anything" faith.  She knows the letter of the teaching but does not have the wisdom of experience and full understanding.

What does "I can ask anything" faith looks like?  This is her understanding of prayer: "The Bible also tells me that I may ask anything and have whatsoever I desire so that my joy may be full."  She says: "I know that again I can ask of anything and as long as i believe that it shall be done for me."


This Discouraged One has not read my understanding of prayer.  I suggest that she read Prayer guidelines on my web site www.HealMyLife and that she investigate www.Listening-prayer.com as well.


There she will discover my understanding of prayer is not "I know that again I can ask of anything and as long as i believe that it shall be done for me."

Jesus who moved with much authority and great faith never imposed his will on the Father but said "I do nothing but what I see the Father doing."  This humble constraint puts us back in our place.  We seek first God's will and God's kingdom not that what we want.  Jesus said God would take care of that stuff.  Our needs would be met.

This is a clue to a whole new attitude toward prayer.  We do not 'write out own ticket with God.'  We cannot have anything we ask for if we have faith because heart faith is a gift of God that comes when we are in alignment with God.  We get in alignment with God by listening to Him.  God sets the agenda not us.

I tell her: "You need to be taught to surrender to God, to let go of your agenda, to submit to God's will, to offer this situation to God, to praise God in the midst for how he is going to use this to transform you into the image of Christ.

Let you heart be broken through submission to God not frustrated by trying to pressure God.  A broken and contrite heart He will not despise.  This means our heart yearns for what God years for not our will.  Godly brokenness creates godly beauty.  Seek what is beautiful to God.  Be His bride (first)."

She has lost her faith.  I tell her that her "loss of faith" may be good:  "Your understanding of what "faith" is to accomplish is not really that of the servant of God.  It needs, therefore, to be broken so that God's truth can be discovered.  You had God in a small box under your control.  God as your puppet did not behave.  You lost faith in your puppet God.  Good.  God is no one's puppet.

Be open to something new.  Find it through worship.  Worship means surrendering everything you hold on to to God.  Let there be no agenda of yours between you and God.  Ask God to show you anything you are trying to impose on your relationship with God.  Surrender it until you start to feel peace and the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Let go of your agenda (and your idols) let God (true God) invade your life.

You will find true love, true peace and true joy."

Friday, January 15, 2010

Control Exit with Threats - Demons #7b

(This continues my discussion of Chapter 7 of Demons in the Sanctuary by Mariam Bellamy, Trafford Publishing, 2008)
Exit Control through Threats and Fear
Some pastors suggest people leaving their flock are in danger. They teach that harm may befall those “out from under his covering.”
To imply that some harm may happen if you leave is to play on people’s doubts and fears. It would then take a lot of self confidence to exit.
One’s pastor is respected, his word heeded. When your beloved pastor creates doubt and fear – in fact suggesting that God will punish you if you leave – of course you will hesitate about leaving.
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A selfish pastor may use manipulation, control and intimidation to stop people from leaving his church. The selfish pastor is out for gain and will miss the financial and volunteer time of those that leave.
A true shepherd pastor who has a heart for his people is hurt when people leave. The reason is that they care about their people and will miss them. They will not use Control and Manipulation to hold on to people because that is not compatible with love.
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Rick GodwinExposing Witchcraft in the Church” (Charisma House, 1997) argues that the use of manipulation, control and intimidation is witchcraft. I do know that people who turn to witchcraft often do so to gain control.
Those in witchcraft use dark forces to gain power. The use of dark ungodly forces to gain power over others is a form of control and is rebellion against God.
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It is painful to admit that any pastor could stoop to informal witchcraft to control people and block the exits from the church. Pastor Rutherford uses informal witchcraft when he makes a connection between a boy who turns to murder and his parents opposing Rutherford six years ago: “His father rose up against me, you know. He was one of those who tried to get rid of me six years ago.”
I call it ‘informal witchcraft’ because there is the implication that those who confront or question their pastor could receive such an extreme ugly consequences such as a son who murders an elderly loving Christian couple.
Mira sensed his belief that those who oppose him will suffer untold agonies and perhaps even death as a result of their obedience. She understood that he was sending her a message.
Pastors who resent those who oppose them may speak curses against those that stand up to them, question them or leave the assembly. I have written about this on www.listening-prayer.com in writing about how to break a curse.
Pastors sometimes join in 'prayer' against those that oppose them and generate a Christian curse. Dennis Cramer writes of this in "Breaking Christian Curses: Finding Freedom from Destructive Prayers."
The most horrible and deeply evil practice is for Christian Pastors to stoop to the actual use of witchcraft to attack those who might interfere with their empire and ambitions. I am talking about personally using voodoo dolls and generating spells against other Christians. An alternative to this is contacting a group of witches and giving them names to pray against. I believe that there are pastors who have reached this level of deprived spirituality.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Spiritual Covering Broken - #7 Demons in the Sanctuary

Demons in the Sanctuary - #7 - Spiritual Covering Broken
We could call this chapter ‘oppression in the sanctuary.’ Just reading the chapter is difficult for me because I start to feel oppressed. The central character Mira is tormented by a dream. Then there is a description of a young man who has appeared in previous chapters. Previous he was described as drifting away from God, dabbled in satanic ceremonies and saying “I think it’s time for me to try Satan.” In this chapter he murders and elderly couple with senseless violence.
The shock of this must be set in context. What happened? Is this related to the church? The leadership struggles? The pastor? What is the meaning of this horrible act?
The man was the young drummer from the worship team so he was involved in the church and some might say ‘under’ pastor Rutherford’s covering. At this point we are not so sure that being under pastor Rutherford’s covering is a good thing.
Many Christians say that it is essential to be 'under a covering.' They assume that it is better to be 'under a covering’ than not being ‘under a covering;’ that being ‘under a covering’ is a good thing.
This story forces us to dig deeper and understand more about a spiritual covering.
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Jesus - Our Ultimate and Primary Spiritual Covering
Our first covering is provided by God. It is a blood covering because we are talking about life or death matters. Disobeying God in the Garden of Eden lead to death and an uncovering. God made clothes from animal skins to cover them (death of the animal to provide the covering.) That prefigures the death of the Lamb of God who takes away our sins and this blood covenant is our ultimate and essential covering.
A Good Secondary Spiritual Covering
Our pastor (or other spiritual head) is secondary to Jesus the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. A secondary 'head' is only effective as a covering if their spiritual life opens heaven over them and others around them. If they are filled with light then that light will help protect others under them. If they have a humble prayer life and a broken and contrite heart before God, then they can help provide protection for others ‘under’ them.
A Poor Secondary Spiritual Covering
Those we submit to (this can even be mutual submission rather than one ‘head’) are not effective covering if their spiritual life is all pretense, if the moral life is shattered and if they have opened their life to satanic powers in those or other ways. Instead of heavenly angels and the Holy Spirit, this ‘covering’ may open them to powers of darkness. That rips the covering off and exposes the flock to oppression.
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The Horror of an ‘Open Heaven’ to Darkness
Pastor Rutherford breaks the news to Mira about the horrible double murder by the young drummer. But something is wrong! Wrong attitude! “He seems unconcerned.”
On the other hand, Mira’s heart is pierced to know that the young man attended the Good Shepherd church and “yet had completely lost his way.” She is deeply concerned.
Our Lord Jesus Christ - the good shepherd - is concerned about every lost one, every one that loses their way, every one who drifts away from the church. Mira has the heart of the Good Shepherd.
Pastor Rutherford recounts other murders that happened on his watch, while he was the pastor (shepherd) of the flock of the Good Shepherd Church. He should be alarmed at the fact that this is not an isolated event. But our author does not portray him as concerned but as mumbling as he munched on a sandwich. Here is the real horror in this chapter.
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I am alert for any patterns of evil or harm in a person’s life. Alerted to such a pattern I immediately start sniffing around to discern where the ‘covering’ is broken, where the spiritual attack comes from. My job as a shepherd (counsellor) is to protect my clients and move them into safety and protection.
Any pastor in Pentecost with the gifts of the Holy Spirit and years of experience should also be immediately alert and humble when seeing problems in the covering they provide. They sense danger to the flock and they take action to deal with it. (I always remember that this story is based on the ministry of an experienced Pentecostal minister - Rev. Ralph Rutledge - in an independent charismatic church.)
Why does Pastor Rutherford not get it! Why is he nonchalant about three murders in his church? Why does death not evoke horror in him?
Where is his spiritual maturity as a pastor and a man of God who has been filled with the Spirit? Where is the fruit that goes with the talk?
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In conclusion be aware that a ‘covering’ can be good or bad. If the man is in darkness the ‘covering’ – spiritual atmosphere – will be dark as well. If the man is in sin then the covering is broken in the area of his weakness and others may be vulnerable in this sin area as well. If the man is demonized then there will be a demonized church. That is not a good covering at all!
A good shepherd will be alerted by problems and act to discover the spiritual problem and to deal with it. Among other things that means dealing with unconfessed sin issues.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Pastor in Rebellion against God's Anointed

By the end of Chapter Six, Mira starts to realize that her pastor is a “force to be reckoned with.” This realization is based on the rapid way in which Pastor R. worked to break down Board unity, undermine their decisions and win the support of some against others. Clearly he intends to conquer and he intends to rule.
Since the Board is elected to serve as a governing body to which the pastor reports, undermining the Board is rebellion against legitimate authority. The pastor is in rebellion. That rebellion may be one of the ways that dark powers have gained access to this congregation. Rebellion is a sin that the Bible compares to witchcraft. (1 Samuel 15:23)
Witchcraft is playing with ungodly forces and listening to and obeying voices other than God. Saul is rebuked for not listening to the voice of the LORD (Samuel 15:9). God told Samuel: “I deeply regret that I have set up Saul as King, for he has turned back from following Me, and has not performed My commandments.”
God committed Himself to Saul but Saul did not commit himself to listen to God and obey the commands of the (Prophet) Samuel. Saul broke the covenant relationship that he had with God and God withdrew His anointing from Saul and looked for another to anoint as king…Samuel says: “for you have rejected the Word of Yahweh, and Yahweh has rejected you from being king over Israel.” (1 Samuel 15:26.)
Every Christian baptized into Christ and into the Body of Christ by the Holy Spirit and who has received the Holy Spirit is “the anointed” of God. Hear this Body of Christ – YOU ARE GOD’S ANNOINTED! The anointed is anyone of God's children filled with the Spirit of God.
Pastor Rutherford does not show ‘the anointing’ else we would see more fruit of the Spirit in his life. We would not see a man so thoroughly focused on self-image – 'it is all about me'. We would see care and kindness for employees and his flock not just using people for what they can give financially or in volunteer service to ‘the church.’ This is not life, love and the Spirit of God.
If it is not life then there is death. That is the choice in the Bible to choose life or death. Moses makes this choice plain to his listeners in Deuteronomy 30:14-20. See, I have set before you life and good, death and evil, says Moses (verse 15). Failure to obey God’s plain law is to “worship other gods and serve them.” Serving other gods means dark demonic forces.
Pastor who is overly controlling or in rebellion against the governing Boards of the local congregation he serves is in a from of witchcraft, is rejecting God and may be serving ‘other gods.’ Think of yourself as being in mutual submission relationships with others in the Body of Christ. No matter what the position in the church, the attitude of God’s servant should allow for mutual submission. Christ calls none of us to “Lord it over others.”
Do not be manipulated into thinking Christ wants one man to rule the local church and that one man is ‘God’s anointed’ and, therefore, no one should ever question his decisions. It is not true that anyone who appropriately asks for accountability is ‘touching God’s anointed.’ Do not let one who is to serve the local body deflect healthy accountability and attack those whose position required them to raised legitimate questions. That is a misuse of something David often said: “touch not God’s anointed.”
You, my love, are God’s anointed if you are one of his little ones committed to Christ and filled with His Spirit (and living in the Spirit.)
No pastor should be ‘a force to be reckoned with’ in the way Pastor Rutherford is in “Demons in the Sanctuary.” Each of 'God's anointed' should acknowledge the special anointing on others in the Body of Christ and not insist that they alone are 'God's anointed.'
God is not committed to a pastor in rebellion just as he withdrew His commitment to Saul as King when he was in rebellion. God moved on. David became His new anointed one.

Friday, January 08, 2010

The Blessing of Unity

Unity of a team helps bring success. United teams win. Divided teams lose.
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” starts Psalm 133. The psalm ends with; “For there Yahweh commanded the blessing – life forevermore.”
The day of Pentecost in the Book of the Acts of the Apostles is the day that the Holy Spirit is poured out on the apostles and the faithful disciples. Jesus had told them to wait for the promise of the Father – the Holy Spirit - to empower them before they move out into their mission.
When the Spirit comes it comes upon a very different group. The contention, the bickering for position is gone. The struggle for position and status has died away. There was none of the usual completion or rivalry. No one grasped power. No one pushed their own selfish agenda. They were, scripture says, “all with one accord in one place.”
Scott Peck has experienced larger groups coming in to unity - what he calls community. The results are remarkable. To some it feels like the Holy Spirit has entered the room.
Peck has written in depth of the journey into unity in two books: The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1987).and In Search of Stones: A Pilgrimage of Faith, Reason, and Discovery (New York: Hyperion, 1995). He describes the process of moving toward community and claims that community comes as a gift of the Holy Spirit and it comes when the group empties itself of grasping for power, selfishness and manipulation. (Stones, page 251.)
Miriam describes unity in Chapter Five of Demons in the Sanctuary. There is a half hour of prayer at the Board meeting after the pastor left the meeting. The fruit of this unity is seen, for example, in the lessening of Sylvester’s gruffness and his confession of inadequacy to stand on the Board. It is also seen in a change of attitude in Mira toward Sylvester. She “sees him in a different light now with this new vulnerability showing.”
Of course the angels present are strengthened by this unity: “The warrior angels drew themselves to their full height. They appeared to pulsate with light. Imps and evil spirits withdrew howling and shrieking in impotent fury.” (Page 59)
This unity of the church board brought them the blessing of Yahweh. It brought them into a less selfish and more loving perspective on one another – God’s perspective. It encouraged them, allowed the Spirit to move and strengthened the angelic forces with them.

Attitude of a Good Pastor

A good pastor is a mature Christian who shows the fruit of a godly life. This includes good works and a kind loving attitude. We don't expect emotional immaturity, sinful behaviour or selfish attitudes from a man of God.
For four chapters in his letter to the Galatian church, Paul argues for Christian freedom from the law. Having established our freedom Paul immediately says: “Do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh.”
Rather, says Paul, use your freedom to serve one another in love; thats how freedom grows. Love others as you love yourself. That is an act of true freedom.
Live freely, says Paul, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit not compelled by selfishness. The root of sinful self-interest is at odds with (contrary to) freedom in God’s Spirit.
So a godly pastor alive in God’s Spirit will display love rather then self-interest. He will be concerned about others not just about himself. He will want others to shine and not hog the limelight.
What is hard to understand is how any ‘Spirit-filled’ Pentecostal minister could display so little kindness and concern for others and so much self-interest. Paul says that life in the Spirit frees us from the compulsions of selfishness.
The pastor portrayed by Miriam Bellamy in Demons in the Sanctuary shows little of real kindness and a real streak of selfishness. Dan spotted the way he could not keep his hands out of the kitchen project and lied to cover up any wrongdoing. He apparently does not make use of the full talents of (share the limelight with) the associate pastor who is a capable worship leader and teacher.
Pastor R. was impatient with and hard on the volunteer on the sound system. He made his Board Treasurer feel very small and incompetent when he angrily resisted her questions about unauthorized expenditures. She was confused about how he alternated between coldness and outright flattery.
At Board meetings his attitude conveys that he considers it a waste of his valuable time. He seems to have everyone on the Board intimidated. They don’t meet his gaze. But the Board is disappointed with the way he treats the cleaning lady. Others in the story seem to understand and have compassion for the people Pastor R. treats with disdain.
How can this be? Pastor R. is in an independent charismatic church and yet he does not live in the Spirit that Paul described in Galatians 5:13 – 26.
And if he is not of the Holy Spirit then of what spirit is he? Does this have anything to do with why the book is called Demons in the Sanctuary?
I have not commented on that aspect of the story where the author portrays demons infiltrating the church and holding off God’s angels. Does the infiltration of demons have anything to do the Pastor Rutherford not being of and in the Spirit Paul describes in Galatians? This may become clearer as we read further. I am at Chapter 7 now. I will read on.
Who is Pastor R.?  The portrait in the book should match Ralph Rutledge (Queensway Cathedral up to 1989) if the book is "just the way it happened" when Rutledge was at Good Samaritan Church.

Church Scandal and Financial Wrongdoing

Why do pastors fail in handling of church finances? Why risk a church scandal over financial wrongdoing.?
Christianity.ca reports: “There were only two stories (in Canada) about church scandals in 2009, and both dealt with financial wrongdoing.”
God requires faithfulness above all else. God says to us: “I will increase your responsibilities when you are faithful in little things.”
Let us remember that as our responsibilities increase, God will grant us grace and wisdom.
Grace is strength and courage given in compassion to those who desire to please God but have not the strength to do so. God smiles upon and gives grace to those in need and who know it; to those who are weak and ask for help.
God’s help (grace) may come as He sends His Word to our heart, His Word comes with faith, as faith increases we are bold to do what seemed impossible before. We need to be humble, that is in a receptive and listening state toward God.
Brother Lawrence is an example of this. In “The Practice of the Presence of God” it says: “Whenever he considered doing some good deed, he always consulted God about it, saying, “Lord, I will never be able to do that if You don’t help me.” Immediately he would be given more than enough strength.
If God requires faithfulness and supplies the grace to follow His commands then there is no excuse for not following good business practices with church finances. Pastors only need to be faithful in the small things to avoid church scandal around financial wrongdoing
In Demons in the Sanctuary there are many reports indicating that Pastor Rutherford bent the financial rules and was not diligent in avoiding the appearance of conflict of interest and nepotism. As I read the book it looks more and more that these moves are not just sloppiness; they are self-serving. Also, they are not just slip ups; they are his standard practice.
What God would see is a heart problem. Something is deeply wrong in the motivations of this pastor. Those who are willful and rebellious need God's forgiveness.
In chapter one, Dan talks angrily about the pastor’s “little private deals.” In chapter two there is “the check you may not like” that the Board Secretary-Treasurer is handed by the bookkeeper. In chapter three Mira tries to confront him about this invoice and some others and he responds with impatience rather than concern.
In chapter four he appears to lie to the Board meeting to cover up an inappropriate invoice. This seems to confirm Dan’s rant about lying and getting his way with ‘private deals.’
Mira (Board Treasurer) has been told by the bookkeeper that Pastor R. asked to see the tithing records so that he would know which people to target. Rutherford ‘targeted’ (that is pressured) wealthier congregants to give largely. Most pastors and most churches keep financial records out of the pastor’s hands to avoid bias or prejudice.
I don’t know if this is acceptable under Ministerial Codes of Ethics but Pastor Rutherford was in the practice of accepting large gifts to him personally from his people. This is not acceptable for politicians or Psychologists. Is it okay for pastors?
(As I remember it, I believe Pastor Ralph Rutledge accepted a gift of a car when he was at Queensway Cathedral with the PAOC.  I still do not know if this is ethical for pastors.)

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Nicolaitanism - triumph over the lay people

Jesus Hated the Nicolaitan Model of Church but why?


Twice the risen Christ who appears to John speaks of his hate of the Nicolaitans; Revelation of Jesus Christ 2:6, 2:15. Jesus hates the Nicolaitans. Let us look at the Greek to get the meaning.

It is not a huge leap into interpretation when the literal Greek in the word ‘Nicolaitan’  “triumph over the lay people.” Alternate readings might be “victory over the laity” or “conquer the people.”

I expects it refers to man's tendency to consolidate leadership in one man.  In modern churches we call that person the 'Head Pastor.'

The Romans were effective in using a hierarchical structure to pacify a city or people.  Then the Roman Emperor Constantine created the Roman Catholic Church to unify his empire as the official religion.

At this point the Roman hierarchical model was enforced upon the church.  The Emperor ruthlessly enforcing the rule that over every city there was one person in charge.  Power ruled and something died.  This is no longer the church that Jesus would build.  It is something else of a very different character.

Now do you Know Why Jesus Hated the Nicolaitan Church?


When one man rule is present you can always frame a sentence like this: “That is Rafe’s church;” naming the head pastor.  It is no longer a community of those who love Jesus.  Jesus said “I will build my church.”  This creature is something else.

In fact, the true Body of Christ is oppressed under the rule of a man (the pastor.)  True community does not form.  the Holy Spirit stays away.

As we read chapter 4 of Demons in the Sanctuary we see an example of this kind of church structure with one man clearly in charge. Pastor R. clearly not only preaches he leads the worship service. Pastor R. personally calls people to ensure attendance. Pastor R. exhorts on tithing to ensure finances. Pastor R. gives a ‘pre-rehearsed’ prophecy that places him back in the spot-light. There is no doubt; this is Pastor Rutherford’s church.  It is all run by him and for him.

The problem with this is that it does not please Christ and does not build up and free the Body of Christ to operate in fullness. It defeats the sense of unity that allowed the Holy Spirit to descend at Pentecost in the first place (Acts 2:2).

It defeats the sense of a collegial team of peers that was present in the early church as Paul called for unity of the body in places like: Ephesians 4:3, Philippians 2:2, 1 Corinthians 12.

In Demons in the Sanctuary Mira – Board treasurer – in not looking forward to confronting Pastor Rutherford regarding some bills. She has started to feel resentment at his misspending. She asks questions hesitatingly. He is short, then annoyed, cold and displeased and impatient.

He leaves this confrontation affronted at, what he considered, her “lack of support.” The author explains that he felt entitled to unquestioning loyalty from everyone around him.

He does not expect a problem because “There was no one capable of threatening his authority here.” He had memories of ‘board members in the past who ha given him some trouble’ but “He had ultimately triumphed over them.”

Pastor R. is in a position to triumph over the lay people in part because he is in a Nicolaitan church structure – an unbiblical hierarchical model imposed on the church by the Romans.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Narcissistic Personality Pastor

We use the term narcissistic for persons who are so focused on themselves that they do not really ‘see’ others. They enter social situations expecting to be special and to be the center of attention. The position of preaching head pastor certainly can allow the fulfillment of these needs in a grand way.

How would you know the difference between a narcissistic self-focused preacher and one who is genuinely dedicated to being the servant of the Bride of Christ?

Servant Leadership - an Alternative to the Narcissistic Personality Pastor
Jesus said the good shepherd ‘lays down his life for the sheep.’ He cares for the sheep and is not a hireling. (John 10:15)
Jesus began the Last Supper by washing the feet of his disciples (John 13). He again called them to fulfill a servant role.
After the resurrection Jesus said to Peter (John 21): “Feed my sheep.” Even after his resurrection, Christ calls Peter to a servant role.

Chapter 3 of Demons in the Sanctuary describes the pastor of The Good Shepherd Church in terms that suggest a manipulative person, preoccupied with appearances and needing to be the center of attention.
Chapter 3 begins with Pastor Rutherford admiring himself in the mirror. “He liked what he saw.” Good one! In the Greek myth of narcissus reflection and love of one’s image, so this is a very appropriate way to portray narcissism.

In preparation for the service our pastor insists that his mikes be set louder, “heard over the choir and other instruments. I am leading after all!” This may be another of several hints that Rutherford is a self-focused pastor. “It is all about me, after all.”  (The author of the book, Demons in the Sanctuary, has revealed to me that the subject of her portrayal of Rutherford is the former Golden-Boy of the PAOC - Rev. Ralph Rutledge who she observed in his final years in the pastorate to Good Samaritan Church.)

Eldridge on a man's need for his father's affirmation

John Eldridge, of “Wild at Heart” and “The Way of the Wild at Heart,” says that the first stage in the journey toward manhood involves know that you are your father’s beloved son; that you are a beloved son.
Eldridge says that if we miss our father’s affirmation and if we are not root and grounded in the knowledge that we are our father’s son, then we will always be seeking the attention, recognition and affirmation that will tell us that we are a beloved son.

The way we manifest our need for attention is to become the center of attention. We want center stage. We demand recognition for whatever we do. It seems as if life and death hinges on us getting recognition, being affirmed and never criticized.

Big wounds in our need for our father’s affirmation can leave us looking self-centered and narcissistic like Pastor Rutherford in this chapter 3 of Demons in the Sanctuary. Pastor is stuck in a “it is all about me” emotional stage.  

 He is trying to get what father never gave. He is pulling affirmation and recognition from others in a self-focused way. We would say to him: “Get over yourself.” He has a father wound. He is stuck.

Eldridge would speculate that Rutherford is trying to get the affirmation that his father never gave. His desperate need for affirmation and recognition from others could have the force of an addiction.

Getting to know his self-focused ways we are tempted to say: “Get over yourself.” God in His compassion might see the father wound and that Rafe needs to be affirmed as a beloved son by his Heavenly Father.

Rutherford/Rutledge is Narcissistic Personality Pastor

Though clothed in all the sounds and sights of Pentecostal religion this pastor (Rutherford/Rutledge) exposes the darkness of his soul by his lack of love for others. “This man’s religion is vain,” wrote James, if he does not show concern for the needy and pity for the widow (James 1:27) and if he does not express his faith by kindness and good deeds.


Monday, January 04, 2010

Masculine Tough and Feminine Soft

I am reading Demons in the Sanctuary a book by Marium Bellamy and I intend to blog on the contents here. The following discussion is triggered by Chapter One of Bellamy's book.  From all reports, this book is an accurate report of the final years of Ralph Rutledge at the Good Samaritan Church and Bellamy could refer to her own notes and minutes of board meetings while she served as secretary of the board.

Dan and Mira are husband and wife. Mira loves her pastor and is struggling with understanding all the problems that her pastor causes the church board. She is on the board.

Dan is a good contractor and handy man and has helped supervise projects around the church. Dan experienced problems with his pastor when he supervised the kitchen renovations.

The kitchen renovation was a major headache for Dan because pastor constantly was changing and adding things. Pastor nullified decisions made by the kitchen committee and did not follow guidelines and he got away with it.

Dan got to know his pastor from working with him. Dan wasn't a deeply “spiritual” man but he could read a man. When he observed his pastor being untruthful and dishonest he lost respect for him as a man and as a pastor.

Dan knew what his wife and the Board were going through in tiling project because he had sized up the pastor up close and personal in the kitchen renovation project. He has seen how pastor would change things to have his own way. He would make his little private deals on the side. If confronted he will skate around it. If anything went wrong he would blame problems on someone else.

Dan kept telling Mira that "He is a liar."  In Dan we see a man providing spiritual covering by sizing up the situation and speaking the truth clearly. There is no pretense in Dan and he can’t stand it in his pastor. Dan doesn't make excuses, he takes responsibility as a man for his work. He looses respect for a man who makes excuses, skips about with fancy words and blames others for his doing. When he sees a liar and calls a liar, a liar.

Dan confronts his wife when she makes excuses for her pastor. Intuitively he knows that real men don’t make excuses and woman shouldn't make excuses for them! Iron sharpens iron and to grow into men, boys need to be confronted with real feedback. “Don’t make excuses for him! He knows exactly what the truth is.”

Dan had confronted pastor to his face and he spoke just as clearly and directly to Mira. Pastor “will make his private little deals on the side and none of you will even attempt to stop him!” Dan is being tough, clear and confrontive. That is okay.  Real okay.  It builds backbone, courage, and masculine strength when we confront one another with truth.

I see Jesus in that. Jesus often led matters into open confrontation. He spoke very clear and did not mince words. Jesus was, in that sense, tough.

If instead of clean open confrontation we are too soft; if we waver and waffle on the truth; if we jump in to excuse behaviour, then we will not raise Christian men to maturity.

Good clean discipline clears the mind. Good clean confrontation builds men with backbone. Loving accountability raises tough loving men - good shepherds.

As John Eldridge points out in "The Way of the Wild at Heart"(page 15) - actual shepherds are rugged.
So do not make excuses or you will keep men in an immature boy stage and not have mature men. And appreciate that real men will sound tough and at times a little rough. Men need to have a tough side so do not coddle!

Dan is a good model of men calling it like it is and not trying to please. He calls a spade a spade.