Dan and Mira are husband and wife. Mira loves her pastor and is struggling with understanding all the problems that her pastor causes the church board. She is on the board.
Dan is a good contractor and handy man and has helped supervise projects around the church. Dan experienced problems with his pastor when he supervised the kitchen
The kitchen renovation was a major headache for Dan because pastor constantly was changing and adding things. Pastor nullified decisions made by the kitchen committee and did not follow guidelines and he got away with it.
Dan got to know his pastor from working with him. Dan wasn't a deeply “spiritual” man but he could read a man. When he observed his pastor being untruthful and dishonest he lost respect for him as a man and as a pastor.
Dan knew what his wife and the Board were going through in tiling project because he had sized up the pastor up close and personal in the kitchen renovation
Dan kept telling Mira that "He is a liar." In Dan we see a man providing spiritual covering by sizing up the situation and speaking the truth clearly. There is no pretense in Dan and he can’t stand it in his pastor. Dan doesn't make excuses, he takes responsibility as a man for his work. He looses respect for a man who makes excuses, skips about with fancy words and blames others for his doing. When he sees a liar and calls a liar, a liar.
Dan kept telling Mira that "He is a liar." In Dan we see a man providing spiritual covering by sizing up the situation and speaking the truth clearly. There is no pretense in Dan and he can’t stand it in his pastor. Dan doesn't make excuses, he takes responsibility as a man for his work. He looses respect for a man who makes excuses, skips about with fancy words and blames others for his doing. When he sees a liar and calls a liar, a liar.
Dan confronts his wife when she makes excuses for her pastor. Intuitively he knows that real men don’t make excuses and woman shouldn't make excuses for them! Iron sharpens iron and to grow into men, boys need to be confronted with real feedback. “Don’t make excuses for him! He knows exactly what the truth is.”
Dan had confronted pastor to his face and he spoke just as clearly and directly to Mira. Pastor “will make his private little deals on the side and none of you will even attempt to stop him!” Dan is being tough, clear and confrontive. That is okay. Real okay. It builds backbone, courage, and masculine strength when we confront one another with truth.
I see Jesus in that. Jesus often led matters into open confrontation. He spoke very clear and did not mince words. Jesus was, in that sense, tough.
If instead of clean open confrontation we are too soft; if we waver and waffle on the truth; if we jump in to excuse behaviour, then we will not raise Christian men to maturity.
Good clean discipline clears the mind. Good clean confrontation builds men with backbone. Loving accountability raises tough loving men - good shepherds.
As John Eldridge points out in "The Way of the Wild at Heart"(page 15) - actual shepherds are rugged.
So do not make excuses or you will keep men in an immature boy stage and not have mature men. And appreciate that real men will sound tough and at times a little rough. Men need to have a tough side so do not coddle!
Dan is a good model of men calling it like it is and not trying to please. He calls a spade a spade.
Other posts in this series on Demons in the Sanctuary: 1. Masculine Tough and Feminine Soft, 2. Narcissistic Personality Pastor, 3. Nicolaitanism – triumph over the lay people, 4. Church Scandal and Financial Wrongdoing, 5. Attitude of a Good Pastor.
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